Who are we? Some have said that this is the question of the ages. For those reading this with a good amount of life experience, you can easily reflect back on how much you have learned and changed over the years. Those who are more satisfied with who they are, what they have experienced and who they have become, all have one thing in common; A high level of self-worth.
For those who may not have such a high level of self-worth, its ok and it certainly doesn’t make you a bad person. Self-worth is key to having success in your life and finding your happiness. Success and happiness will look different for everyone. There are no set standards for what specific aspects in life equate to success and happiness. Sure, we could sit back and give a general definition or description, but it will differ for everyone.
Cultural norms now, and the norms that existed throughout our history, have played a huge part in our individual self-discovery journeys. From learning that hitting another person is wrong, to using manners such as please and thank you, to trends with physical appearance and fashion. Regardless of the specific cultural or social norms, they influences us to believe that one thing is better than another.
One of the biggest problems that has been transformed from those norms, is that people have tied their being to them. The thought process might sound like, “If I don’t look a certain way, or if I don’t believe in one thing or another, then I won’t be accepted, I won’t be included and therefore rejected“.
Let me tell you some truth behind that, it’s all bullshit, it really is. Giving into norms that reflect one person’s opinion (even if that opinion is shared by many others) doesn’t always align with who we are. So back to the opening question, who are we?
We are all responsible for discovering who we truly are as an individual, removing outside influences. No doubt, it’s a difficult task to do; there are so many things in life that can distract us or blur the ability to see who we truly are. I get it. I’ve been there.
My self-worth used to be horribly low. The whole fucking time that it was, I realized that I was trying to conform myself to be like the others around me; to be someone and something I wasn’t. I was attempting to conform to norms that didn’t align with myself.
It wasn’t until I got sick of my own shit, went through enough emotional and mental pain where I chose to see me for me. It was scary, not gonna lie. One thing is for certain, I feel more free and more alive than I ever have before since taking control of my own self-discovery and, in turn, holding a high level of self-worth.
It’s important to note, we are all human. So even when we are strong within our self-discovery journeys and have healthy self-worth, we can still have dips and slips every now and then. No one is perfect right? The goal is to maintain a high level of consistency with it.
As an individual I am blessed to be able to have an influence and impact on others. Ironically, all the norms started with an individual as well. This comes to show us that, one person can make a difference even though we are stronger in numbers and have a greater impact as a community. Find yourself if you haven’t yet. It can be a tough choice and journey, but rest assured the outcome is worth it.
Until next time, stay frosty friends.
-UDC Wellness Expert, Matt Donnelly