I Will Never Tap

Since being on-boarded as a UDC athlete, I have pushed myself to the next level mentally and physically. Often Veterans lack a sense of belonging and purpose after departing the service. I came across the UDC page one day, and it piqued my interest. I decided to shoot the page a quick message coupled with a few photos and here is where it began.

I communicated here and there with Ashley and express my interest in joining the team. We conducted a Zoom call and boom! I was in. Her immense passion for the community and what she envisioned was a shared interest. 

Since then, I have noticed a motivation that I have not had in quite some time and a void began to be filled. The last few years I have been in a slow downward spiral and lacked a sense of purpose. Everything from losing former teammates/colleagues to suicide, thinking about suicide as my own way out, job satisfaction, fighting my own ego/demons, and the list goes on. A lot of people (Veteran or not) can relate. It took its toll. There was a very low point not too long ago where I contemplated punching the time clock. It was dark and  seemed inescapable. Suicide is not an option for me. As much as I wanted to quit, there is something there that will not allow me to tap out. I will never tap. In a few weeks I will hopping on a plane and traveling down to the jungle of Peru where I will begin my healing journey alongside fellow Veterans. A journey that is more than welcomed at this point in my life. None of this would be possible without Jesse and Kasey from the Heroic Hearts Project. (www.heroicheartsproject.com

Ask for help. Talk about your shit. Learn to smile again. Love yourself. 

Little Red Strap

What?!? Since strapping this little red strap on my chest, I have been insanely motivated and focused on improving myself. My physical fitness and mental fitness have improved immensely. There is a monthly challenge that comes along with this little red strap. With this challenge you are competing with over 250 other individuals who are collectively part of one of the coolest and most unique communities I have been involved with. There are some straight up physical specimens who I question sometimes to be cyborgs. Lol. I set a goal every single day to achieve a certain amount of MEP‘s or “MyZone® Exercise Points” and do not stop my work out until I have accomplished that. This little red strap is a “motherfucker” but in a good way in that it holds me accountable because I do not like to lose or fail. 

The Team-Community

Since becoming a team member of the Until Death Collective I have gotten to know a few more rad humans via IG and hope to meet soon. The amount of positivity and jack-assery that gets thrown around every single day is uplifting and downright hilarious. Leading me to my next point…

Ashley fucked up by bringing me onto the team because I am a 12-year-old stuck in a 38-year old’s body…. lol Childish and dark humored behavior (good natured) will ensue in pursuit of minimizing mediocrity and motivating others to get out and live “rad”. I rarely take life too seriously. Perhaps this is a double-edged sword. As basic (suburban PTA/soccer mom) as it sounds, “live, laugh, love”. In all reality I just hope to bring another element and personality to add to the rad team and community that she has started, and we as a “collective” are growing. I look forward to being an essential element in the growth of our team and community. 

Till Death.


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